Judgement

Several people I have met, they say, females have it easy, they have no stress in life. They don't have to be a bread winner, neither do they take an kind of stress. They do not have to deal with the hardships of life and they do nothing but sit around all day looking pretty.

Well, that is a very chauvinist mindset. I would like to clear that misconception, girls do not have it easy. In fact, I would dare say that females for that matter have it more difficult than the males do.

From the minute they are born till the second they die, females are judged. Judged about how they look, what they wear, how they behave, how they eat, how they cook and so goes on, the list of infinite options of judgement. If a girl mingles with boys, she is a (pardon my language) a whore. If a girl only socializes with girls, she is conservative. If a girl goes out, she's a loafer but if a girl stays at home, she's very closed up. If a girl is healthy, she is called fat, if she's too thin, she's called a stick. If a girl eats too much she's a pig and if she eats too little she's anorexic. If a girl wears too many clothes, she's uptight but if a girl shows some skin and decides to look good, she's a slut. If a girl stays quiet when someone insults her, she's gullible but if she talks back, she is labelled rude by others.

Why, I ask, are girls judged so much? Society has put such an immense amount of pressure on this that girls are forced to be into something they are not. They are sometimes forced to take actions against their wishes. Males on the other hand, they have utter freedom. They are kings of the house and masters of their own will. Yes, they are the bread winners of the house but does that give them the right to scoff and tell their wives or mothers or sisters that, "hey, what do you people do the whole day sitting at home while we slog our asses off at work?"

Females in the olden times were meant to be house makers but men belittled the job of house making, they suppressed women. They assumed that they were superior just because they brought the money home from work. Obviously, all that suppression is bound to come out somehow! Too much pressure on something, and it bursts open eventually. Hence, women began to work, to dress up, to be bold. Just to show men that they can earn money as well. They are not meant to be reckoned with!

Despite all these revolutions, in some places, women continue to be disgraced. Men continue to be tyrants. Even in our modern society, ask yourselves, why is it that you allow your sons to do certain things but not your daughter? Why do you teach your daughter to wear proper clothes but not your son to behave himself? Even today, I am ashamed to see that girls are blamed for provoking the boys with their clothes and being raped while the guys are not given a death penalty for such ruthless actions. All I would like to say is this- why the façade of being called a modern society when our thoughts are still truly sexist and backwards?

The inside story

Why is it that people are judged by their choices and their looks? One of the many things I will never perceive fully is as to why people nowadays have become so judgmental. This trend is not only seen in teenagers but can also be spotted in adults.

Yes, I agree to the fact that the way people dress and appear from outside may be a reflection of their inside but I ask you this- is a frail reflection enough to actually judge a person? I step into college and I see many cliques. Good looking people tend to flock together, the studious people make their own little groups, then we have the usual jocks, foreigners, pretty girls in sororities, ect... These cliques do not have any rules or any type of authority over them and yet it astounds me how they are perfectly categorized. 

Apparently, the first day of college decides your category and hence, which group you will belong to for the rest of your college life. It's like the caste system all over again. A person from one clique never socializes with people from another clique. It's blasphemous. How utterly ironic if you ask me. Well, of course there are many cases where by the cliques do mingle but that is only because of two reasons- they are either forced to mingle or they need each other for some particular purpose.

Not only colleges, this discrimination goes on in the corporate world as well. I was told by someone that applications for jobs are gone through with the similar mindset. They brush through all the applications, not quite bothering to look at the qualifications, they just look at the photo of the applicant and choose them based on how they look! The person told me and I quote, "who will look at all the qualifications? There are so many applications. This is a much faster way. Plus, good looking employees will pull up the reputation and increase the panache of our company." My only reply was an exasperated sigh. 

Where is the world getting to? Once upon a time, people were judged how their actions, their knowledge and their values. Now, it is just purely looks. Here is what I think- do know the inside story of a person before just judging the outside. 

Love- a propaganda?

It is said love comes in many shapes and sizes, it is also said that love is blind. But these statements I find, are the height of hypocracy.

Firstly, I would like to specify what type of love I am referring to here. It is not the brotherly-sisterly love or the parental love. It is the romantic 'Romeo-Juliet' love I am referring to here. I would like to clarify what love in these situations mean. Is it attraction between two individuals? Or that gut feeling you get when you see him/her walking past you? Or the cliche signs meaning the fast beating of the heart, time slowing down, ect?

Love is such a widespread phenomenon but yet such a complicated condition that no one has been able to define it up till date. I shall tell you why- love means different for different people. It cannot be defined on simple words because it does funny things to one. Yes, love is a magical feeling. But lately, throughout the years, it has been used one too many times by movies, songs, celebrities that love has become a stereotypical and vague feeling.

It has been exploited by movies into something which it is not. They show everything as a perfect setting, love should be smooth, the guy and the girl playing the roles in the movie are attractive and they have a happy ending. All these cliche movies have made love into such a demanding emotion that many now run away from it. It is not uncommon to see guys who have commitment issues or girls who need their space.

The film industry has utterly destroyed a once pure feeling. Love is now a money making scheme. It is purely a propaganda.

Hence, obviously seeing these movies people shall be affected by them. The words "I love you" are very easily said nowadays. These three words took people ages to say and now are easily spoken and not meant.

I wonder, in the future, will true love exist at all?

Commerce or Science?

I have noticed one funny thing about people in India when they ask which stream you have taken up. They ask and I quote exactly, "commerce or science?" Why I find this utterly amusing is because of the fact that there are three streams that one can take up here in India- Commerce, Science and ARTS.

Why people exclude arts and just ask about science and commerce, I will never know.

It is a common phenomenon and mindset in India that people who go to science and commerce are smart and those who go to arts are not. I'm sorry but that is not true. I have seen quite a lot of people who have taken up arts who are remarkably intelligent and out of those intelligent people, 90% of them want to make a career out of it.

Another misconception that I may clear up is that arts is a very colorful line and one can make a decent, well-paid career out of it. I am sorry to say but those who have this backward mindset about arts being for dummies please wake up, you are living in a world where the culture of arts is well defined and established and also appreciated.

Hence, from behalf of all the arts students, including me, it's a humble request to stop this discrimination of streams and get the fact that not only science and commerce students will do something out of their lives, art students can do so too.

A perspective

I had the mindset that I was going to attend college, I really did. Instead, I ended up running around due to all the projects and ultimately going to my friend, Twisha's house.

Her building has a beautiful terrace where you can just sit and let your mind wander. It's funny how your mind takes you to places where you thought you would never end up being- my future. I sat there, wondering what my future would be like. Where would I see myself in a month? A year? Ten years perhaps. Wonders of the mind, never fail to awe you.

For me, my mind decided to take to me my career. What do you want to be? It asked me. I answered clinical psychology without missing a beat. And then it asked wh? Do you think to have it in you? I could not wrest up an answer for that.

Why clinical psychology of all things? I don't know but hell, I just know that one day I will be able to answer that too :]

I also wondered about some important things... But that I am very far from going into. Basically, a terrace like that is a beautiful place to have moments. It entrances and captures your breath, it makes you feel like you are on the top of the world and all the problems are below, like little ants that can be dealt with later. Today was a legendary day. Literally.

The formality wars

The formality wars. Nowadays, every single one of us go through this phase of life called the formality wars. What does it mean in the first place? Let me explain.

One of the many specialties that we Indians have is that we have several number of festivals. And then with festivals come all the laborious visiting. Visiting friends, visiting relatives, visiting neighbors and... you get the point. In the olden days, all these visits used to mean something to everyone. They used to bring joy and excitement to the people about having guests over. The entire point of visiting was to personally greet each other and promote bonding and unity among the people who celebrated that festival or that occasion together. 

But now, people don't visit because they want to visit, people visit because it's a formality. They are afraid that if they don't visit, the opposite person would feel bad. Not only the people who are visiting, but the people who are having guests over feel it as an obligation to return the favor of welcoming them. It's a pain to make the food, it's a pain to clean the entire house, it's a pain to basically have people over and paste a smile on your face even though you are tired from all the cleaning.  This is, my friends, the formality wars.

It's not just about the visiting and having guests over. There are other parts to the formality wars. One of its many vicious circles include the giving and taking of money. According to one of my favourite shows, The Big Bang Theory, it is said very correctly and I can't exactly quote it, but it goes something like this, 'the giving and taking of money is a pure gimmick. you give someone 50 dollars and that person will also give you 50 dollars on another occasion and this will keep going on until one of those two people die, leaving the other one 50 dollars richer.' One of the most brilliant lines ever. 

To me of course, the giving or taking of money also ends in advantage because I am always on the receiving end while my parents do all the giving. Also today, I am going to be part of the formality wars. Going for dinner with relatives. Another formality dinner in the making it seems.

If you ask me (which I am obviously going to say since this is my blog), you want to host dinners and outings, do it if you really want to and not because you have to. I would like to put an end to the formality wars when I grow up. The rest depends on you ;]