One priority, one happiness

It often occurs that you try you sincere best to make one person, who you most value in you life, very happy. But that has it consequence and that too, not a very good one either. Like a firm has many posts which go in the order of decreasing importance and value, similarly, I believe, one's heart also has such posts. Obviously, to you, the person occupying that first post in your heart will have the most importance to you.

However, like a firm cannot function without all the posts working together, an individual also cannot function without all the parts of his/her heart working together, that is, all the people in their lives. What happens to the firm if there is conflict between two very important people? It goes into a huge deficit condition and then all the other people working in the firm are also affected. 

Something similar has happened to me today. Or at least, it has been happening since a long time but I realized it today. An individual has one most important person in his/her life. That is a fact and I agree to it. But that does not mean that the individual gets to ignore all the other parts or people who make up his/her life. It's wrong and eventually if that goes on, the person will be alone. 

It's not wrong to give much importance to one particular person but what's wrong is to ignore the rest. The firm is not just made up of one person. It's made up of many people from the CEO to even the cleaner. It's not possible for the firm to function without any of the employees however big or small. 

Whoever is reading this post, I want you to know that if you are part of my life then I value you no matter how close we are or not. And if you are an outsider reading this post then please remember to thank, to please and to appreciate the people in your life because without them, you are just like a huge empty firm without it's employees. And that firm, does not last very long. 

So don't take anyone for granted. I would like to end this post by saying, "you don't realize the value of something, until it's gone". 

Judgement

Several people I have met, they say, females have it easy, they have no stress in life. They don't have to be a bread winner, neither do they take an kind of stress. They do not have to deal with the hardships of life and they do nothing but sit around all day looking pretty.

Well, that is a very chauvinist mindset. I would like to clear that misconception, girls do not have it easy. In fact, I would dare say that females for that matter have it more difficult than the males do.

From the minute they are born till the second they die, females are judged. Judged about how they look, what they wear, how they behave, how they eat, how they cook and so goes on, the list of infinite options of judgement. If a girl mingles with boys, she is a (pardon my language) a whore. If a girl only socializes with girls, she is conservative. If a girl goes out, she's a loafer but if a girl stays at home, she's very closed up. If a girl is healthy, she is called fat, if she's too thin, she's called a stick. If a girl eats too much she's a pig and if she eats too little she's anorexic. If a girl wears too many clothes, she's uptight but if a girl shows some skin and decides to look good, she's a slut. If a girl stays quiet when someone insults her, she's gullible but if she talks back, she is labelled rude by others.

Why, I ask, are girls judged so much? Society has put such an immense amount of pressure on this that girls are forced to be into something they are not. They are sometimes forced to take actions against their wishes. Males on the other hand, they have utter freedom. They are kings of the house and masters of their own will. Yes, they are the bread winners of the house but does that give them the right to scoff and tell their wives or mothers or sisters that, "hey, what do you people do the whole day sitting at home while we slog our asses off at work?"

Females in the olden times were meant to be house makers but men belittled the job of house making, they suppressed women. They assumed that they were superior just because they brought the money home from work. Obviously, all that suppression is bound to come out somehow! Too much pressure on something, and it bursts open eventually. Hence, women began to work, to dress up, to be bold. Just to show men that they can earn money as well. They are not meant to be reckoned with!

Despite all these revolutions, in some places, women continue to be disgraced. Men continue to be tyrants. Even in our modern society, ask yourselves, why is it that you allow your sons to do certain things but not your daughter? Why do you teach your daughter to wear proper clothes but not your son to behave himself? Even today, I am ashamed to see that girls are blamed for provoking the boys with their clothes and being raped while the guys are not given a death penalty for such ruthless actions. All I would like to say is this- why the façade of being called a modern society when our thoughts are still truly sexist and backwards?

The Hype for Valentines Day

Valentines Day is coming which obviously means one thing- big plans for all the people who are in a relationship. What I do not understand is this though: why is it such a big hype? I mean, I am a hopeless romantic myself but as a couple I know said, "Your love should not double just on Valentines Day, it should be the same forever." To which I replied, "Valentines Day is just not the one day where your love doubles, it is a day when you appreciate the love you already have."

Yes, I believe in love and Valentines Day but I do not wish to hype it up which is what is done nowadays. Couples are expected to do something special for each other and gift each other something. Why the unnecessary hype? I mean, it is really laudable if you want to do something for your opposite half as you love him or her but do it out of love, do not do it because you are expected to do something.

Also, why is it a common belief that Valentines Day is only celebrated by couples? I believe, it should be celebrated with and by everyone you love may it be friends, family whoever. Let everyone know and appreciate how much you love them. Trust me when I say true love can only be shown by actions and not by expensive baubles.

Have a happy Valentines Day to everyone :]

The inside story

Why is it that people are judged by their choices and their looks? One of the many things I will never perceive fully is as to why people nowadays have become so judgmental. This trend is not only seen in teenagers but can also be spotted in adults.

Yes, I agree to the fact that the way people dress and appear from outside may be a reflection of their inside but I ask you this- is a frail reflection enough to actually judge a person? I step into college and I see many cliques. Good looking people tend to flock together, the studious people make their own little groups, then we have the usual jocks, foreigners, pretty girls in sororities, ect... These cliques do not have any rules or any type of authority over them and yet it astounds me how they are perfectly categorized. 

Apparently, the first day of college decides your category and hence, which group you will belong to for the rest of your college life. It's like the caste system all over again. A person from one clique never socializes with people from another clique. It's blasphemous. How utterly ironic if you ask me. Well, of course there are many cases where by the cliques do mingle but that is only because of two reasons- they are either forced to mingle or they need each other for some particular purpose.

Not only colleges, this discrimination goes on in the corporate world as well. I was told by someone that applications for jobs are gone through with the similar mindset. They brush through all the applications, not quite bothering to look at the qualifications, they just look at the photo of the applicant and choose them based on how they look! The person told me and I quote, "who will look at all the qualifications? There are so many applications. This is a much faster way. Plus, good looking employees will pull up the reputation and increase the panache of our company." My only reply was an exasperated sigh. 

Where is the world getting to? Once upon a time, people were judged how their actions, their knowledge and their values. Now, it is just purely looks. Here is what I think- do know the inside story of a person before just judging the outside. 

Love- a propaganda?

It is said love comes in many shapes and sizes, it is also said that love is blind. But these statements I find, are the height of hypocracy.

Firstly, I would like to specify what type of love I am referring to here. It is not the brotherly-sisterly love or the parental love. It is the romantic 'Romeo-Juliet' love I am referring to here. I would like to clarify what love in these situations mean. Is it attraction between two individuals? Or that gut feeling you get when you see him/her walking past you? Or the cliche signs meaning the fast beating of the heart, time slowing down, ect?

Love is such a widespread phenomenon but yet such a complicated condition that no one has been able to define it up till date. I shall tell you why- love means different for different people. It cannot be defined on simple words because it does funny things to one. Yes, love is a magical feeling. But lately, throughout the years, it has been used one too many times by movies, songs, celebrities that love has become a stereotypical and vague feeling.

It has been exploited by movies into something which it is not. They show everything as a perfect setting, love should be smooth, the guy and the girl playing the roles in the movie are attractive and they have a happy ending. All these cliche movies have made love into such a demanding emotion that many now run away from it. It is not uncommon to see guys who have commitment issues or girls who need their space.

The film industry has utterly destroyed a once pure feeling. Love is now a money making scheme. It is purely a propaganda.

Hence, obviously seeing these movies people shall be affected by them. The words "I love you" are very easily said nowadays. These three words took people ages to say and now are easily spoken and not meant.

I wonder, in the future, will true love exist at all?

The adventures of the Indian local trains.

Have you ever travelled by an Indian local train in Mumbai? If you have, I am sure you are quite sympathetic to my fate.

My college being so far off from my house, a train ride six days a week to and for is a must for me. Trying to get a seat in a local train during peak hours is a equivalent to a war. A spartan war to be precise. You have to know the exact point where the train will stop and where would you be able to get in the fastest avoiding all the rush if angry ladies. It's very strategic. One can learn but only by experience.

While coming back from college, it becomes a full blown world war. People are tired after work, frustrated to the Core. All they want to do is just get that seat and go home and watch some TV. If you get a seat at that peak hour, you can get a seat in any train, in any country.

Getting down from the train is another story entirely. You get up from your seat two stations before only to look down and see two women bickering about who gets to take your seat and entirely pushing you out of the picture. You get away and push your way to the tightly packed crowd on the train where people keep getting on and no one gets off. Only through sheer will power do you manage to get your way through the entrance of the train and get down. Sometimes if the crowd is too frustrated, they don't even let you get off and you miss your station.

As soon as you are on the platform of your station, you feel safe. Survived the wars. I am proud to say that I, survive these train wars everyday and cheers to the others who are in this war with me :P

The first day of the fresh start.

The day that I have been waiting for eagerly, almost impatiently, has finally arrived. I have moved into my new flat! After all the tedious formalities, packing, cleaning, unpacking, everything is in place at last. Sitting in my new room, I proudly type out this post. A few more adjustments and that's it, my new home.

Although, I do admit leaving behind my old, rented flat is a bit of a bummer, many memories and good times spent there, all my friends screaming my name when they get free from their tuition, even the lonely howl of the dogs at night shall be remembered by me :P

It is never easy to let go of all the old stuff and immediately plunge into the new but, handling it graciously, leaving it at it's place, that is what we call life. Clinging on to the old never lets us move forward either. Instead, it just drags us down with it. But when these bad memories turn into good memories, something you can laugh about in the future and learn from it, that's when you walk away with the win.

Life, I was told, is never a bed of roses. Well I think, life is definitely a bed of roses but we sometimes tend to forget the fact that even roses can have thorns that prick you. What you do, is make an effort and remove the thorns. This last paragraph is dedicated to a friend, who is feeling down. I am there for you :]

Parents

Everyone has relationships. Relationships with your boyfriends or girlfriends, relationships with your friends or relatives but the most intimate relationship which also demands the most attention in these ages is the one a child shares with his/her own parents.

This relationship is also very unpredictable. One second, you are laughing and kidding around with them and then next moment, it all ends up into a fight which was not foreseen. According to a lot of teenagers my age, their parents seem to have a lot of flaws. They lash out at any moment, make mountains out of mole hills, nag, scold, overprotect, ect... The list is endless. What they forget though, is that they themselves are not perfect too. I mean, come on! They are your parents! We don't understand the fact that when we end up hurt, emotionally or physically, they experience double the hurt. We are a part of them. They have the right to nag, scold and overprotect because they also love, care and pamper.

It's like we forget about all the things they did for us the moment we start to answer back to them. We shout, we taunt and we accuse them of multiple things. We remind them of their flaws. It's a vicious thing, this anger. It makes us an animal. We want nothing else but to win the argument against our parents at that moment even though we are wrong. I know the feeling completely, because at times, I turn into that animal.

I know it's hard to think of all this when we turn into that animal but we could at least try to tame it. And that is precisely what I am going to try the next time the animal tries to take over. I am never going to forget about all the sacrifices my parents made just so that I could have the best. It is said anything you do for your parents, it never meets up to what they did for you, not in a million years. 

The new beginning

Whenever you move in, into a new flat, or any new place for that matter, it feels like a new beginning to something exciting. I was finally going to see how my new flat was shaping up. My family and I were staying in a rented flat up till now. The wait was nearly over and my new flat was almost ready.

Glee is what you feel when you are about to get something new. Exactly what I felt when I stepped into my new flat to take a look at it after so many months. A lot of touch ups were yet to be made but yet, it already felt like my room.

The walls, the furniture, all if those things were waiting for me to leave a mark on them so that each mark would have it's own story to tell.

This is a toast, to a new era in my life. :]

The never-ending project

Whoever said students has it easy was a mad man. Students do not have it easy at all! Specially in India. The students slog, make their projects and hand in their pieces of pride to their respective teachers. But guess what? The teachers don't even bother checking the projects. They only care about the fact that you have scribbled something inside and then they put a tick beside your name and a random grade, and dump your pieces of pride into the trash. Such a waste. It really irritates me. However, I can't do anything but go through the motions. I want to get to places. I already conquered my life in Singapore, and now I am here in India. I don't know where my next stop would be but I would definitely not be stopping here forever.

I want a truck full of memories but not at the same place. I want to accomplish many things and one of the any things is this godforsaken Environmental Studies (EVS) project.

This EVS project is sucking the life out of me... I swear if the teacher does not collect it as soon as college starts I am going to scream at her.

We put so much hard work into something and then in the end when the teacher forgets to collect it, it's just a huge heart break. On the other hand, when we decided not to out in any effort and just hand in sloppy pieces of homework, she decides to take it seriously. Curses!

The formality wars

The formality wars. Nowadays, every single one of us go through this phase of life called the formality wars. What does it mean in the first place? Let me explain.

One of the many specialties that we Indians have is that we have several number of festivals. And then with festivals come all the laborious visiting. Visiting friends, visiting relatives, visiting neighbors and... you get the point. In the olden days, all these visits used to mean something to everyone. They used to bring joy and excitement to the people about having guests over. The entire point of visiting was to personally greet each other and promote bonding and unity among the people who celebrated that festival or that occasion together. 

But now, people don't visit because they want to visit, people visit because it's a formality. They are afraid that if they don't visit, the opposite person would feel bad. Not only the people who are visiting, but the people who are having guests over feel it as an obligation to return the favor of welcoming them. It's a pain to make the food, it's a pain to clean the entire house, it's a pain to basically have people over and paste a smile on your face even though you are tired from all the cleaning.  This is, my friends, the formality wars.

It's not just about the visiting and having guests over. There are other parts to the formality wars. One of its many vicious circles include the giving and taking of money. According to one of my favourite shows, The Big Bang Theory, it is said very correctly and I can't exactly quote it, but it goes something like this, 'the giving and taking of money is a pure gimmick. you give someone 50 dollars and that person will also give you 50 dollars on another occasion and this will keep going on until one of those two people die, leaving the other one 50 dollars richer.' One of the most brilliant lines ever. 

To me of course, the giving or taking of money also ends in advantage because I am always on the receiving end while my parents do all the giving. Also today, I am going to be part of the formality wars. Going for dinner with relatives. Another formality dinner in the making it seems.

If you ask me (which I am obviously going to say since this is my blog), you want to host dinners and outings, do it if you really want to and not because you have to. I would like to put an end to the formality wars when I grow up. The rest depends on you ;]

The bumpy ride

Finally, after all the turbulence and the mini heart attacks you get when the plan plunges downward, I landed home, I landed in India. It's funny how this country holds so much value to me in such a short time. Maybe its the warm people or the atmosphere but... there is some magic which compels me to come back every single time.

As I wait for a cab which is taking longer than usual to arrive, I realize the festive atmosphere, it's Diwali. Everyone is in their own little bubble of joy. For me, I fall into thought. How is my first Diwali in India going to be like? Is it going to be really cordial like in Singapore or something different? I made through the scary bumpy flight and I made it unscathed through some... problems which transpired in Singapore. Emerging confident, I look forward to Diwali and also look forward to seeing some people I love.

It's like life is giving me a fresh start. Something which tells me, you can build your life all over again. This time, it is going to be easier than the last. This time maybe, there won't be so many disappointments. Maybe, this is where I am meant to be happy. This is my home now, this is my country. Sure, I am going to miss everything that Singapore had to offer me, but, as India spread out it's hands to embrace me, I found it easy to forget my tangled past. The cab arrived. I took a deep breath and stepped into tha cab, this is the start of my journey here. This is my first step.

In conclusion, this Diwali, there are going to be some major changes coming and good or bad, I am ready for them :] Happy Diwali everyone! 

The first post

Going to India tomorrow. Mixed feelings about this one. Leaving a lot of strings behind. Some which I want to forget and some which I don't. You can only ramble to people and friends up to a limit. Once that limit is filled, you have to find another medium. And you know what they say- if you can't share, you blog (okay, they don't say that, I made that up). So... yes, I decided to start a blog. Confused as I am right now about how my life is going to turn out, I know one thing for sure, that tomorrow, I am going to go back home and that's where I would want to be. With friends and cousins. People say change is the only constant thing in life. Well, I disagree. Change or not, problems are the one constant thing in life. But you know what? Those problems have become a part of my life now and made me who I am. So this one, is a cheers- to problems and whatever awaits for me tomorrow at India! :]