I was never one to stand out. Too plain to be considered exceptionally pretty, and quite okay looking to be considered ugly. Too chubby to be considered slim, and quite far away from fat. Never quite introverted, never the enthusiastic extrovert either. Exceptionally good in academics but not as good as the top few. Not the loner but not quite the popular person either. It was never this par or that par. I was always stuck in the middle.
People say things are either black or white. That's wrong. There is a huge grey area and I fall well in that grey area. Life never considered me to be anything special. I was drowning in its mediocrity. I was never expected to do anything great than just what ordinary people do in their ordinary lives. It is specially frustrating when you yourself want to leave behind some kind of legacy but think you think you are nothing special. You fall into the category that probably a million other people fall into.
But still, I want to do something great. I can't die until people know my name, for the right reasons of course. I thought to myself, well Shivangi, its okay if you aren't the best, but do what you want to do, not what the world expects you to do. And I stuck to it, I pursued Psychology instead of Biotechnology. I migrated from the world education hub (Singapore) to one of the most lax countries in the world (India) just so that I could take Psychology as a subject which the institutions in Singapore were not offering me. Sure, my parents thought it was a pretty vague subject to pursue and that it has no scope but still, it was something I knew would finally bring me out of the rut of being in the grey area, this was my chance to make a break for it. I grabbed it, as tightly as I could.
At times, I agree I became very competitive. But competition is not a blasphemy, you now. It tends to bring out the best in you. I gave my best to that subject. If not the top, I want to be one of the top psychologists in the world. Eventually, it was my drive and my passion for my career that began to attract people towards me. Not all of them were attracted for the right reasons, some just wanted to pull me down. But it won't happen. I won't let it happen. I am fighting to be on the top just so that people can pull me down from there. People who want to pull you down are already beneath you so why waste your time?
I finished my board examination here in Mumbai and then applied to Nanyang Technological University (NTU) in Singapore to get into the curse of clinical psychology, with an average of 82%. I was rejected, because the cut off was 85%. My heart still burns when I think of why I was rejected. It was because I was unable to finish my economics paper which caused me to lose 20 marks. I could have gotten in, I was not good enough. But I refuse to stop, I refuse to go back to the grey area. It's either this par or that par now, there is no looking back. I will try again for my Masters degree, and this time, I will make sure they take me in.
I realized, that people my sure be born into the grey area, but they are not always meant to stay there. It's your will that will pull you out and force you to make it to the few people who have everything that you wish to have.
Soon, I became one of the exceptional ones. I groomed myself to look the way I want to look. I started looking better. I dropped the extra weight, I studied harder because I loved what I was studying, I forced myself to be more assertive and outspoken, and it was because of that that I finally became more popular amongst that previously did not know my name.
No one is condemned to be in the grey area forever. You can make it to wherever you want. Just focus on your goals and tell yourself it's do or die. And I promise you, whatever you want will come as free incentives with the completion and success of your goals.
If life has taught me anything, it is- no one is meant to blend into the crowd, we all stand out. You don't have to be popular or skinny or good looking or utterly smart to be considered special. It can also be your goal that moulds you into who you are. Recognize the goal that you are ready to take the leap of faith for, and half your battle has already been won.
People say things are either black or white. That's wrong. There is a huge grey area and I fall well in that grey area. Life never considered me to be anything special. I was drowning in its mediocrity. I was never expected to do anything great than just what ordinary people do in their ordinary lives. It is specially frustrating when you yourself want to leave behind some kind of legacy but think you think you are nothing special. You fall into the category that probably a million other people fall into.
But still, I want to do something great. I can't die until people know my name, for the right reasons of course. I thought to myself, well Shivangi, its okay if you aren't the best, but do what you want to do, not what the world expects you to do. And I stuck to it, I pursued Psychology instead of Biotechnology. I migrated from the world education hub (Singapore) to one of the most lax countries in the world (India) just so that I could take Psychology as a subject which the institutions in Singapore were not offering me. Sure, my parents thought it was a pretty vague subject to pursue and that it has no scope but still, it was something I knew would finally bring me out of the rut of being in the grey area, this was my chance to make a break for it. I grabbed it, as tightly as I could.
At times, I agree I became very competitive. But competition is not a blasphemy, you now. It tends to bring out the best in you. I gave my best to that subject. If not the top, I want to be one of the top psychologists in the world. Eventually, it was my drive and my passion for my career that began to attract people towards me. Not all of them were attracted for the right reasons, some just wanted to pull me down. But it won't happen. I won't let it happen. I am fighting to be on the top just so that people can pull me down from there. People who want to pull you down are already beneath you so why waste your time?
I finished my board examination here in Mumbai and then applied to Nanyang Technological University (NTU) in Singapore to get into the curse of clinical psychology, with an average of 82%. I was rejected, because the cut off was 85%. My heart still burns when I think of why I was rejected. It was because I was unable to finish my economics paper which caused me to lose 20 marks. I could have gotten in, I was not good enough. But I refuse to stop, I refuse to go back to the grey area. It's either this par or that par now, there is no looking back. I will try again for my Masters degree, and this time, I will make sure they take me in.
I realized, that people my sure be born into the grey area, but they are not always meant to stay there. It's your will that will pull you out and force you to make it to the few people who have everything that you wish to have.
Soon, I became one of the exceptional ones. I groomed myself to look the way I want to look. I started looking better. I dropped the extra weight, I studied harder because I loved what I was studying, I forced myself to be more assertive and outspoken, and it was because of that that I finally became more popular amongst that previously did not know my name.
No one is condemned to be in the grey area forever. You can make it to wherever you want. Just focus on your goals and tell yourself it's do or die. And I promise you, whatever you want will come as free incentives with the completion and success of your goals.
If life has taught me anything, it is- no one is meant to blend into the crowd, we all stand out. You don't have to be popular or skinny or good looking or utterly smart to be considered special. It can also be your goal that moulds you into who you are. Recognize the goal that you are ready to take the leap of faith for, and half your battle has already been won.
I agree completely with your blog life is about goals .But somewhere ones destiny plays a lot of role in individuals life
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